Happy Mother's Day!

I just had to wish all you moms a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY today!!

I hope it was a wonderful day with family or friends. If you didn't have someone to be with, then I hope you were at least able to call someone . . . your kids . . . your mom . . . a mom you know . . . a mom-to-be . . . a spiritual mom to you . . . Just go call a special woman in your life and wish them a Happy Mother's Day!! :)

I had an emotional day today. Not exactly sure why. Some of it was probably pent-up tears that didn't get released last week during my monthly hormonal craziness . . . If I don't cry at least once a month, the tears will start to flow at the most inopportune times! :) Actually, I do believe some of it was the enemy (Satan and all his evil cohorts) trying to ruin this day . . . trying to remind me of all the areas where I have failed as a mother. . . . where I don't feel like I measure up to the Super-Mom status we are all led to believe we should and can achieve. . . where I wish I had done things differently and am praying that God is just able to super-glue the things I have broken (my children's hearts, minds, emotions, relationships, etc) . . . where I want to do things differently, but am not sure if I am really going to change (due to laziness, procrastination, bad habits, etc). . . . . etc, etc, etc.

I did receive the most precious cards from my 5 kids today - some sweet, some funny, but some of what they said I still had a hard time digesting. Was I really all those wonderful things, or are they just saying them because it's Mother's Day and that's what they are supposed to say? One part of my kindgergartener's card was hilarious . . . but at the same time, poignantly true and sad. He was given a few pages with sentences to fill in the blanks about his mom. Here is what he wrote:

Happy Mother's Day 2008
My Mom's name is Loire (Close . . .it's Lori)
My mom is 38 years old (no I'm not! . . . . the kids always say I'm older than I am!)
My mom is as pretty as a flowr.
My mom makes the best cocees (cookies).
**My mom's favorite thing to do is BE ALONE (caps added by me.)**
My mom thinks it is funny when I be silee (silly)
My mom doesn't think it is funny when I don't cleen my room. (he's right - I don't!)
My mom loves me.
I love to play with my mom.
I love my mom because she is my mom.
Happy Mother's Day!
Love,
Jacob
2008

So . . . my favorite thing to do is not . . . scrapbooking . . . being on the computer . . . photography . . . or even playing with my kids . . . no . . .it's to "BE ALONE"! I just died laughing when I first read it. He knows me too well! But today it did make me sad.

I do have 5 kids (ages 3-12), and for most of the time, every day, I have most of them home (a few go to school in the mornings some . . . it's complicated). And there are many a night when daddy has to come home and scoop all the kids out of the house "to give mommy some alone time" (what an awesome hubby I have!!!). So Jacob is really right when he said that. But I got to thinking today . . . is that really what I want my kids to say or remember about me. . . ."Mom sure couldn't wait till we were all out of the house and she could be alone!" I don't really want to be alone all the time! I am just an introvert by nature and the way I rejuvenate/re-energize is to be by myself . . . to get some time with God, to be able to think without interruption every 5 minutes, to relax and watch a show, read a book or even blog . . . .you know what I mean? I don't get much of that this year. But I don't really want that to be my legacy. It just made me realize that I need to be more careful with what I say and do. I LOVE my kids A TON - and whenever I am not with them and I come home - I LOVE seeing their smiling faces and hearing their sweet voices (when they are not screaming!). I do LOVE being a mom and I do cherish the little things - the snuggling, giggles, playing games, etc. I need to show that more . . . .verbalize it more to them. I used to tell them that my favorite book is one called "Five Minutes Peace" (I do still love it as it describes what most moms go through with little ones around) - but I don't want my kids to think that I feel that way ALL the time. There are just moments that we ALL need 5 minutes (or 10 . . .20 . . . or maybe an hour) of peace! :)

To reassure you, my day wasn't a washout of sadness and tears. I had my good cry, and then wiped my wet face, reapplied my makeup, welcomed my parents, brother and his wife and daughter, and had a wonderful lunch with them - celebrating Mother's Day and one of my daughter's B-days. I played a game, chatted, took some pictures, giggled, and now am getting a few minutes of time to "be alone" while daddy gets dinner for all the kids (and even brought me some food!). After I finish this post - I will be rejuvenated to go back and finish off this Mother's Day with snuggles, back scratching, stories and more (and hopefully no tornadoes! The weather is looking scary!). And tomorrow . . . I have another chance to change things for the better!

So - what would your kids say about you? What do you want them to remember about you - that you were always loving, angry, stressed out, on the computer, tired, happy, fun??? I think I will be doing more soul-searching and being more intentional about the legacy and memories that I am creating for my children. I know I cannot ever attain "Super-Mom" status . . . but to my kids - I do want to be the best Mom that I can be for them!

God bless all you Mother's and all you do!! I know someone has said that if we were actually paid for all we do we would be making over $116,000 a year . . . .though - like my sweet friend Lynae said "I would probably be fired from many of those jobs" (ie - house cleaning, cooking, etc)! :) Hey - we can't be perfect at everything!! :) Just do your best "as unto the Lord"!

Live a LIFE of LOVE today!