Thursday, June 19, 2008

"Miscellaneous" Parenting tips

This is what I found 5 mintues before having to leave for school! I caught him (and his sibling) just before they were going to turn his face into a Tiger!! It was Picture Day at school!! We had to put on a long-sleeve shirt even though it was warm!
Who is this masked boy? The black didn't want to come out of his eyebrows. So we had a mini-Groucho Marx for awhile!

Darth Vader on his way to take a shower. :)

Because we don't live in an area where there might be a frozen window or flag pole - my son purposely tried sticking his lips to this ice-cube! Guess he didn't want to be left out of the frozen appendage/body part experience!

Some things just are not in the parenting handbook . . . you know - the one you received at the hospital when you delivered your baby . . . . . . . What? You didn't get one?? . . . . oh wait . . . neither did I! No wonder. And even if someone did take it upon themselves to actually write out a full and complete parenting handbook, it would certainly fill up all our libraries in the US! And each year - they would have to make new editions to cover all the newest technology, fads, etc. So . . . to save space on our precious library shelves - I guess there should just be one main category in this parenting handbook . . . . "Miscellaneous! . . . what to do about anything and everything that you encounter in parenting". I think the simple answer would be . . . . "just laugh - but maybe to yourself at first, so you don't hurt your children's feelings, and then you can tell them about it when they are older and they will think it is funny then! OR - you can use it as blackmail, or tell it to the wanna-be boyfriends and girlfriends when they hit their teenage/young adult years."

I have encountered many of these "Misc." events in our household. With 5 kids - it's almost a daily happening. :) I just had to share 2 of the most recent events with you (well - my hubby said I HAD to share them with you!!!).

After many weekends of announcing to the boys (especially my 5 and 10 year old boys) that I am no longer going to be cleaning their bathroom because of all the pee that seems to "accidentally miss" the actual water in the toilet and ends up on the walls, on the seat and around the basin, I was once again reminding them to PLEASE put up the seat and actually WATCH where they are peeing so that it goes in and not all over and around the comode . . . not to stand against the far wall and "aim high" to see if they could "make it", but to actually stand right next to the toilet when doing number 1! I know that their complaint is "but the seat won't always stay up and we would have to touch it and hold it up the whole time while we are peeing. That's just gross and too hard!" ??? Hunh ??? However, I assumed that THIS time they MUST have heard and fully understood my rationale for WHY I wanted them to use the toilet in this manner. With that said, I told them to go upstairs and get a shower.

As is usual, there was a lot of giggling, stomping, laughing, and screaming (in fun) going on upstairs. I was glad to hear the two of them were getting along.

My happiness was short-lived when my 8 year old came down and said "Mom . . . . you have to see what the boys are doing."

I sent my husband up to deal with it. I was not expecting the scenario he described when he came down.

Our 10 year old was up against the far wall across from the toilet (it's about 5 feet away), buck-naked (as he should be for taking a shower). However, he was once again "aiming high". But that's not what cracked me and my husband up! It was the fact that our other completely naked 5 year old son was doing the limbo UNDER the yellow stream that wasn't quite making it to the toilet!! Covered in pee on his chest and laughing away, they both seemed to be oblivious to the fact that this was the complete opposite to what I had been telling them to do for weeks! ??They can't touch the toilet seat because it's "gross and too hard to hold up the whole time", but they are willing to risk being showered by urine in a game of buck-naked limbo??!! . . . . What was it that I learned once about boys being "brain-damaged" because of some hormone released in the womb?? :) LOL!!

We just died laughing! Once we got our serious faces back on - it was back up to tell them to clean up the mess and to NEVER do that again! . . . . I don't think they have . . . but they sure haven't been faithful in getting all their pee in the toilet. The good news is . . . . for the most part - I really have stuck to my promise to not clean their bathroom (or at least around the toilet) ever again. So if you ever need to use our restroom . . . . you might want to use mine! :)

The other event happened just last night.

We sent the kids up to bed and I was busy downstairs responding to some emails. I could hear giggling, talking and goofing off upstairs, and I hollered for them to be quiet and stay in their beds. We have 2 bedrooms upstairs with 4 kids in them, and I am just about ready to get a bigger house where everyone can have their own room! That way they might actually fall asleep at 8:30 (when we put them to bed) instead of 10pm! Anyways . . .

Shortly after yelling up to them I heard another type of yelling - but this time it sounded like someone was in alot of pain. Now - did I jump up to rush and see what happened? Judge me as a bad mom - but I didn't. That's because I've heard this same scream when a stuffed animal has fallen out of the bed (that's a whole 'nother story to tell one day . . . "The Boy who Cried (duckie)" . . . ). I also heard my son running downstairs to me, and in no time he was piercing my ears with his high-pitched screams.

Man. He must really be hurt. . . . . But then again . . . if he could run all the way downstairs that fast - maybe he's not. ????

"What's wrong, bud? You sound like you got hurt? Where did you get hurt?"

What I really wanted to say was "If you had been in bed like I had said, you wouldn't have gotten hurt!" . . . . actually - I think I may have said that later on anyways . . . . oops.

Amidst emotional sobs and screams, while doubled over in pain holding his stomach, my 10 year old proceeded to tell me that his 8 year old (but only 49 pounds) sister had punched him "really hard" in the stomach! ?? I couldn't imagine why she would do this? So I needed to investigate further. I showed my son some comfort, looked at his "wound", assessed that he would be ok, and then sent him back to bed. I then found his sister - in our room talking to my husband. Again - I wasn't expecting this scenario . . .

"Why did you punch your brother in the stomach? That wasn't very nice. Were you mad at him for something?"

"He hurt my leg first." she replied.

It always amazes me how I never get the full truth from the one who comes running with wounds.

"But that's not why I punched him. I did it because he told me to." she said.

?? Hunnh?? "Why would he tell you to punch him? And why would you do it?" I asked.

"He said he was in Ninja training and that it was ok to punch him in the stomach." :)

LOL!! Oh my . . . . what do you do with that?! How do you punish someone when they were just doing what they thought their brother wanted them to do. He obviously thought he was a bit tougher than he found out. I just sent her to bed and told her not to punch anyone again - even if they are in Ninja training! :)

Let's hope that that was the last "Ninja training class" for any of my kids!


bree said...

hahaha! the joys of motherhood:) truly a blessing, thank the Lord you can remember to laugh-may we never forget!

Valerie said...

Oh, I am laughing soooooo hard! (I needed that). I can't wait for my 2 little boys to start such rambunctious behavior. . . . . !

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